What We Wish We Knew When We Were Planning Our Wedding
Getting married ourselves was the best thing we could have ever done as wedding photographers.
And one of the best things we’ve ever done for ourselves, too, but that’s not the point of this article ;)
We learned so much from being on the other side of the camera, from being the ones actually getting married, from doing the thing ourselves. No amount of wedding photographer education or practice prepares you quite as well to serve your own couples anywhere near as well as literally putting on their shoes (or boots in our case) and walking through an entire wedding day in them.
We learned a lot of beautiful lessons on our wedding day that we are proud to incorporate into our own client experience, and those lessons are truly coming to life in the Wedding Tips section of our blog, and more importantly, in this article. Today we present to you the three biggest things we wish we knew when we were planning our wedding.
Wedding Regret #1: Not Having a Coordinator
I will preface this by saying our wedding was in July, 2020, closer to the beginning of covid when we had absolutely no idea what was really going on with the pandemic. In the spirit of knowing nothing, we chose to downsize our wedding in May to our wedding party, their dates, and immediate family. This left us with about 60 people who we knew very intimately and didn’t feel the need to put on a big show for. Our wedding vision went from giant Fourth of July bbq party to intimate Fourth of July dinner in which we also get married.
We very pridefully decided that, since we’d seen a number of wedding days unfold during our tenure in the wedding industry, we’d be fine without our coordinator and be able to handle this “intimate” event ourselves. I laugh often at our naive thoughts. This was absolutely not the case.
Hiring a month of coordinator is the most helpful way to take the stress of your wedding day off your shoulders. The last month before the wedding includes timeline planning, communicating important details with all your vendors, and making sure everything is set in place for your actual wedding day. If your regular life is any ounce of busy like ours is, you will have virtually no time for this stuff, and little things like emailing an updated timeline to your caterer will seem like a huge mountain you have to move all by yourself.
When it comes to your actual wedding weekend, you will have to coordinate everything like setup yourself. I remember running around like crazy people trying to get all the alcohol properly refrigerated, tables set up, decorations placed, etc. the day before our wedding and not having the chance to actually slow down and enjoy the fact that our families were all together for the first time ever or celebrate the fact that it was our wedding weekend. Joseph and his groomsmen had to arrive to the venue very early our wedding morning to set up all our decor and make sure everything was in place before actually enjoying the day.
All of this could’ve been avoided if we had just kept our coordinator. Spending that extra money is beyond worth it, friends. Surrender control and delegate this stuff. Silly details like refrigerating alcohol are not what you’re going to want to have to remember when you’re celebrating one of the best weekends of your life. Hire a coordinator, please. We include preferred vendor lists for all our wedding clients to help you with this one :)
Wedding Regret #2: Feeling Pressure to Constantly Entertain Our Guests
This one may stem from my people-pleasing personality, but I remember feeling overwhelmed with pressure to make sure our guests were fully entertained the entire time. I felt so pressured to do this that I found it hard to have fun myself. I deeply wish I could go back and take that weight off my shoulders. This is your day, and is about you making one of the biggest commitments two humans can make to each other, not about entertaining people.
Like you will hear from most people who have gotten married, our wedding day was an absolute blur. The only part I truly remember is our ceremony, and looking back, I’m pretty sure that is because that was the literal only time I was able to slow down enough to be present. It was the only part of the day I didn’t feel worried that everyone else wasn’t having fun.
On this topic, I will add: don’t be afraid to take breaks and simply be with your person. I am talking sneaking off and being away from the hustle and bustle, even for 2 minutes, just to spend some alone time together breathing, enjoying each other, soaking up the moment. Your wedding day is just like life: if you don’t take a step back every once in a while to take everything in, you’ll end up completely missing the beauty in it.
This day is yours, and being free to enjoy it is almost entirely in your hands. Don’t feel pressured to entertain everyone at every moment, and don’t be afraid to step back and soak it in. Heck, if we’re your wedding photographers, we will create fake reasons to pull you away from the party and create that space for you. It’s that important to us.
Wedding Regret #3: Not Intentionally Planning Space Throughout Our Timeline
I know I harp on this one a lot, but it is so incredibly important. There is an entire personality type of human who plans everything in their life in the most efficient way possible (I am one of them). This is not the way to plan your wedding day. The biggest killer of intimacy is feeling rushed, this is a fact. This is one of the most important days of your entire life, please don’t kill the joy, the intimacy, the moments by rushing through everything. Space the events throughout your wedding timeline out enough that you have a chance to relax (or don’t fall behind if things get delayed!).
Intentional timeline planning will allow you to enjoy your day so much more, we promise!! I talked waaaay more in depth about intentional timeline planning in this article, so read up, friend! We promise you will not regret the little bit of extra time you have with your girls before you walk down the aisle, those additional moments to say more than “hi, thank you for coming!” to your aunt you haven’t seen in years, and the opportunities you’ll have to pause and soak in your wedding day.
Hey pals! We’re Katie & Joseph, a husband & wife team, and Phoenix wedding photographers.
We are big fans of documenting wedding days in an unposed, raw, genuine, and honest way that allows our couples to maximize their experience on their day while also receiving a gallery full of stunning images that communicate how it felt to be there.
Though we’re based in Arizona, we’ll travel anywhere (like our second home of SLO!) for a good love story (and dance party). We invite you to follow the links below to learn more about us and our services, and to get in contact with us!
